


I know the culprit is(n't) here

by thescyfychannel



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Aphrodisiacs, Eggnog, F/M, Holidays, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:55:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22212910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thescyfychannel/pseuds/thescyfychannel
Summary: So someone spiked the eggnog at your coven's holiday party, and while you'retechnicallyguilty (on account of havingmadethe eggnog with the Good Rum you'd been saving for it), you're definitely not the one who poured a bottle of "Love Potion No. 9" or whatever the fuck it is you've all been drinking into it.Well. Okay.If subconsciouses could act on unspoken desires to get rid of all the UST hanging around in the air, you'd totally be guilty, but according to Sollux, itdefinitelywasn't you.
Relationships: Eridan Ampora/Feferi Peixes, Eridan Ampora/Karkat Vantas, Eridan Ampora/Sollux Captor, Eridan Ampora/Sollux Captor/Feferi Peixes/Karkat Vantas, Feferi Peixes/Karkat Vantas, Sollux Captor/Feferi Peixes, Sollux Captor/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 3
Kudos: 35
Collections: Polyswap Winter Promptfest - Dusk Edition





	I know the culprit is(n't) here

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [auxanges](https://archiveofourown.org/users/auxanges/pseuds/auxanges) in the [Polyswap_Winter_Promptfest_Dusk_2020](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Polyswap_Winter_Promptfest_Dusk_2020) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> Oh no.....someone spiked (insert generic or alien festive wintertime beverage) with (insert mysterious substance or whatever supernatural/magical item your heart wants) and now everyone is SUPER randy.....how awful.....how terrible.................................  
> (Putting explicit in case you want to go split pea and ham on these bad boys)

It's not that often that your coven does these little get together things.

Okay, that's a blatant lie, but weekly dinners and occasional get togethers to talk about the possibility of moving in together once classes were done and everyone had their working situations in order didn't exactly count in your mind. This was _fancy_. Everyone was dressed up, and Feferi had baked something delicate and pretty, and Eridan had gotten a cheese platter, and Sollux was wearing a collared shirt and a _vest_. 

Also, you'd made eggnog, and it was pretty damn good eggnog if you did say so yourself. You'd even spiked it to the socially acceptable degree for a coven get-together, using some of that rum that even Sollux didn't completely hate.

This is why, about half an hour later, when Eridan goes to pour himself another cup (you're on your fifth, Feferi's just knocked back her fourth, and Sollux is sipping his second slowly) you're beaming lazily, even when he leans in to take a whiff, stops with the ladle hanging dripping in the air and a horrified expression on his face. "Who the _fuck_ spiked the eggnog?" Your smile still doesn't slip, turning just a shade confused, and you raise a hand up into the air.

He turns that look on you, shock and horror combined, and now the smile turns into a frown. "With...with the good rum. Remember?"

"Oh, gods," he mumbles, setting down the cup. It would've been his fourth, you think, and you're a little surprised by that—Eridan holds his alcohol better than all three of you combined, and everyone's crashing at his and Feferi's place today, which means it's absolutely unnecessary to have a designated sober person beyond two-drink Sollux. "I had three cups a that shit."

Now you're offended. "Hey!"

Feferi drapes sideways across you and your free hand automatically goes to her hair, tangling into shining curls. "Shh, Karkat, your eggnog was delicious!"

"Yeah, it was, I tasted it while he was makin it too, Fef, it's not _that._ "

Now Sollux is moving, finally roused out of what the three of you call his "lazy cat stage" in the interest of settling the debate before it turns into anything. You're guessing he'll side with Eridan (a rare occurrence) if Feferi continues to side with you, what with his thing about _balance_ and all of that. He shuffles over to the bowl of nog, his novelty reindeer antler headband cocked at a jaunty angle, and leans in close. Red-blue glows in his eyes, that same multicoloured light lining the punchbowl, then—"Huh."

"Huh _what_ ," Eridan says, looking just as agitated as he was five seconds ago. Dude needs to chill. Have another cup of your excellently prepared eggnog. "Sol—"

"You're right, someone spiked that shit. And no, KK, he doesn't mean spiked with rum, there's an actual spell put in the punchbowl that goes basically invisible the second it hits red solo cup—"

"—these are _crystal_ , you jackass—"

"—which means that someone's tampering with our food and drink." Sollux maneuvers around interruptions as deftly as he _doesn't_ around awkward social situations, and the fact that he's grinning rather than grimacing puts your mind a little more at ease than his announcement did. "Not food, actually, just drink, nothing else reacted like the eggnog did."

Feferi's shifting upright, the same unrest you're keeping buried deep inside (five drink Karkat, you've found, tries to be everyone's guardian angel slash caretaker and NO you have no idea what Sollux thinks he means when he calls you the "Team Mom" he can go fuck himself) echoed in her expression. "You still haven't told us _what_ we got dosed with, and that grin you're wearing is making me reely conchcerned, here."

"That's because he's a fuckin reprobate," Eridan says, elbowing Sollux in the ribs. "Or because he's had the least outta all a us. What was it, cup and a half?"

"Sounds about right, do you want the honours or shall I—"

Eridan slaps a hand over Sollux's smug mouth. "Aphrodisiac, I think, or somethin similar. Either a potion or a spell or—it's magical, is about all I can tell, even if I'm gettin a boost off a all three a you. I'm thinkin havin drunk any a this shit might be cloudin my judgment to a degree, even if it hasn't touched my magic."

"Great," you say, your face on fucking fire. You can feel your ears burning, and Feferi's eyes are wide behind her glasses. "So is it—uh—do the effects stack?"

"The more you drink, the harder you're gonna get hit," Eridan says, and he looks almost apologetic. "I have no idea who put this shit in here, the magic isn't any a yours, I know that much, but it's still familiar, so, uh."

"Rival coven, you think?" Feferi's combing her hair back, tying it up into a ponytail, and you can _feel_ your dick twitch in an almost Pavlovian reaction. Gods fucking dammit, you _know_ that hairstyle. "This is going to be a hell of a night, then."

At the punch bowl, Eridan and Sollux perk up almost as much as you have, and you remind yourself that you're fortunate to not be the only professional embarrassment in your little quartet. "So we're not going to try to counter this, then?" You have to at least ask. You're practically required to.

"Nah," Feferi says, flashing you a grin that goes straight to your fucking pants. "I'd rather ride it out!"

"Oh gods, _Fef_ ," Eridan says, his face burning crimson. You're pretty sure all three of you are blushing, and she's just got on that devious expression of pure delight. "Look, we could just—"

"It's not like we haven't fucked before," someone says, their tone reasonable, and it takes you a hot second to realize that it was you. "I mean, we're basically all dating, right?"

"Yep," Sollux says, scooping up the punch bowl and carrying it towards the empty stasis chamber the four of you use for storing potentially dangerous magic. "ED, bring the cups, I want to dig into this crap when I'm sober again."

"You're barely even drunk!" The bickering follows both of them out of the room, a comforting thing you're well used to from the both of these idiots, and you'd be a little more comforted by that normality if it weren't for the fact that they're leaving you alone with a _very_ bright-eyed Feferi.

"Um," you say, absolute king of eloquence that you are, "hey?"

"Hey," she replies, and it's so close to a purr that it makes your half-hard dick ache. "Let me know when it kicks in for you, okay?"

"Has—has it already kicked in for you?" Oh gods. Oh _fuck_. You're gonna die if she says yes.

"Nah," she says, and you breathe out a sigh of relief. "But I think the anticipation is doing it for me anyway!"

"Oh," you say, "great."

And gods fucking dammit, now she looks all concerned. "Hey, you know if you don't want any of this, we can figure something out, okay?"

"I," you start (and falter, as you so often do, in the face of Feferi's concern and caring), "that's not it, I swear." She's rarely so silent and patient as this, all eager energy and curious interrogation, and the fact that she knows to be now twists your heart up into little pretzel knots. You try again: "I think I might want it too much."

Now her smile is back to smugly knowing, and you attempt to sink down into the couch, your face burning. "Good to know," she says, shifting a bit closer, and—

"Guys," Eridan says, an indignantly red-faced Sollux scooped up in his arms. "I think it starts when we use magic."

You snort, trading a look with Feferi. "Are you sure it doesn't kick off when you kiss someone? Or when someone gets kissed?"

"You two _do_ tend to get into sloppy makeouts after arguments, and before arguments, and even _mid_ argument, sometimes," she says, looking them over speculatively.

Eridan has the good grace to blush, and Sollux smirks. "He totally kissed me."

"So it's activated by...what? Being kissed? Magic usage, on a delay?" Feferi looks you over, considering, and you immediately tug her in for a kiss, very well aware of the direction her thoughts are trending in and utterly unwilling to end up the next one on her list. She's _devious_.

When you pull away, she's got a happily glazed sort of look in her eyes, but it clears the second she shakes her head. "Nope, I'm still fine, I think?"

"Magic and kissing," Sollux cuts in, and it's now that Eridan's dropping down onto the couch corner opposite you that you notice the red staining his skin seems more heated than usual, the way he grinds down against Eridan's lap, the suspicious tightness in his pants. "So we could theoretically control or hold it off for a while. It's not permanent, though, it's on a timer from the second it's triggered, so it'll wear off—"

"So no point in delaying the inevitable!" Feferi's hands spread in a scatter of sparks, and you groan, slapping a hand over your eyes.

"He wasn't suggesting that you—oh, holy _shit_." You can't really think of anything else to say, because actually _seeing_ the change as it occurs in her is something entirely different than Eridan carrying a needy Sollux back into the room. A whole body shudder runs through her, and you watch her lips part, her breath quicken, hips roll with the feeling of it—it makes your heart jump, a feeling that only gets worse when Sollux abandons Eridan's lap and she abandons yours, the two of them pressing their foreheads together in an intimately charged moment that you _know_ you've seen from them before.

"Hey," he mumbles, and then they're kissing, hands tangled in hair and tugging at clothes, and Eridan's staring at the two of them like he'd like to be sandwiched right between them.

You...might know the feeling.

"So, uh," you say, and he jerks his gaze away so fast you think it might hurt. "What do you think? Stay sober, or join in?"

"I'm good either way," he says, and his voice is strangled with want. It's kind of hilarious, watching him try to be on good behaviour. "I mean—"

"You're taking too long," Feferi informs him, and oh _fuck_ the two of you should have been paying more attention to the two of them (you're not sure how that would've been possible, except for the brief, five second, conversational exchange) because Feferi's turning his head to face her and Sollux is grabbing yours, and—

It's a really nice kiss, okay? And he pulls back, a little, to whisper in your ear that _you should really look at ED and FF_ and then he _keeps_ kissing you, but only your neck and throat and ear, refusing to touch your lips again until you do—

Holy fuck. So there's a lot of sexual tension between literally _everyone_ in your coven, but Eridan and Feferi are on a whole other level.

They pull apart—there's _another_ forehead touch, the two of them breathing hard, hands locked together—and Sollux grins down at you, bumping your forehead briefly with his own. "What the fuck are we, one of Eridan's intimacy-centric erotica comics I'm not supposed to know he keeps under his bed?"

"Probably," Sollux says, dropping back down onto the couch. "Jump in whenever you feel like it, though. I'm not sure two cup me can keep up with four cup FF."

"You had a cup and a _half_." A horrible thought occurs to you, and you stare at him. "You _didn't_."

"No, I did not in fact finish up my other half cup to make a point," he says, grinning. "But I'm rounding up for funsies. Don't ruin it for me."

"I hate you," you inform him, as Feferi drops down into his lap. You leave them to their soon-to-be desecration of the couch, shifting over to sit next to a staring (brooding) Eridan. "Hey, man. We've got a decision to make."

His eyes haven't left the pair of them, Feferi tugging the ugly holiday sweater off of Sollux, his reindeer antlers long abandoned (or tangled up in the neck and sleeves of it, maybe), her ponytail just starting to slip. "Do we really though?" 

You stare for a moment longer, then sigh in complete and utter defeat. "Yeah," you say, and your hands light up with witchfire at the same time as his. "Okay."

**Author's Note:**

> [with thanks to Straight No Chaser](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7byjAaLcRM)


End file.
